I want to CARE

I want to care. I want to feel. I want emotion because I know that it is just as much a determinant of who I am, what I do, and how I do it, as a product of these things.

One of the things that launched this blog was a desire to care (see my very first blogs). Recently, I have been praying that God would bring me to care by emotionally CONNECTING me with reality. With the reality of His heart and what He cares about; the reality of my life, its brevity and how God can use it for His glory; the reality of people's needs and my role in meeting them.

And while this is a prayer that cannot be answered once and for all--emotion is inherently inconstant--in the last 24 hours, God has answered my prayer so much that I have butterflies in my stomach and feel within me an excitement that makes me want to get up, shout, praise God and be and do for Him.

I wasn't planning to write another post until later this week, but I just had to share this with you - how, through two old friends far away, God has answered my prayer.

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As many of you know, in early 2004, I went on a four-month mission trip aboard a ship called Logos II (see link under "Personal" at right). I joined 'the ship' with about 50 other people from all over the world - including Kent and Ryan.

Prior to the ship, Kent (right), about 27, was living a directionless party life, struggling with hard drugs and living in the shadow of his long-gone high school basketball glory days. Ryan, about the same age, was doing the club scene in London, England - and feeling empty.

Neither Kent nor Ryan was sure why he was on the ship - committed for two whole years. But as soon as they hit that deck, God started to change them. For the four months I was onboard, it was so exciting, refreshing and real to watch.

I left the ship in June of 2004, and although they remained in my prayers and thoughts, I lost touch with Kent and Ryan.

Yesterday, through email, we reconnected. Two years on:

Kent is still on the ship and is leading the LIT (which I think stands for Logos Intensive Training) program. (LIT is a program which is voluntarily taken by half a dozen people at a time and respectfully feared by everyone on the ship for its 5am wakeups, 16-hour workdays, and gruelling study requirements.) Kent writes:

To see what God has done in my life still encourages me. I don't understand why he is doing it but I love that he is willing to use me.

This is the last LIT that I am leading and then I am going home for a month and then on a short term trip to Lebanon. You should go if you can. It is with OM u-turn.

I don't really have a passion for Lebanon but God just told me that I don't know if I will have a passion if I don't go there and see some of the culture and get to know some of the people.

I do have a passion to change the life's of the youth in the states. To get them out of the states. I want to start a LIT back home with the goal of Getting the Youth out of America. I think most of them just need a short term experience and they will be in love with the people of the world and see that we have it way to easy.

God has been so good to me and I am ready to go home now.

As for Ryan (left, in white), he found the Lord had given him a gift for teaching and preaching, and spent much of his time aboard the ship using it - speaking to audiences around the world. He is engaged to someone who joined the ship at the same time as us, and will be moving back to London with his new bride this Fall.

Needless to say, both Kent and Ryan are now sold out for God.

Today, God has answered my prayer by shrinking the world down to two people, showing me His transforming power in their lives, and inviting me to praise Him. Now I can relate. Now I can care.

I know that the emotion and care and feeling and excitement will fade. But God will renew it again.

Pray with me:

Lord, thank you for answering my prayer to care. Someone has called the OM Ships "God's ships." Thank you for these vessels and for the human vessels inside them that you are transforming and using for your glory. Thank you for Kent and Ryan. I praise you for the amazing work you have done in their lives! Thank you that they are part of your story, and thank you for encouraging me, and maybe a few people who read this blog, with this news of them--this testimony of your work in their lives. Father, don't stop answering my prayer. Continue to connect me with yourself, and what you are doing through your people. Take over my life, Lord. Change me, transform me, use me for your glory. Amen.